Guest Post from the sweet, passionate, creative Waynna LeBrija.
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Ways to build up our Husbands
When I discovered grace in marriage, I realized it wasn’t my husband that needed it most. It was me.
Like motherhood, marriage has helped me discover a whole hot mess of emotions, ha!
I’ve often allowed these emotions to get in the way of my desires for my marriage.
Can we agree for a moment that we all want strong and intentional marriages?
My desire for control has usually been what’s gotten in the way of breaking down what I should be building up. Although I cannot take back words or actions, and although I still lack perfection, resting in His amazing grace has encouraged me to get up and try, try again!
The lens I once put on when I looked at my husband was full of emotion. That lens got me no place good.
But when I see my husband the way God sees him, I can’t help but want to encourage him. God says I am chosen, royal, holy and special (see 1 Peter 2:9 for full verse) and so is my husband! I need to put on this lens when I listen to, speak to, and pray for my husband.
Here are some ways to build up our husbands so they can envelop the purpose God has for their lives.
Give our husbands an opportunity to be heard.
I once heard a Pastor say that, generally speaking, wives need to be heard and husbands need physical touch. I agree! But I don’t want to forget that wives also need physical touch and husbands also need to be heard. I am not a Psychologist but I am pretty sure these are innate needs, across the board.
I also think it’s important to consider, that when I listen, I shake off expectation. Sometimes I have interpret my husband’s vulnerability for weakness which can in turn cause fear in my heart.
The Bible says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18.
Breaking down the biases may help our husbands feel we are a safe landing place and in turn can foster great communication!
Related Posts:
15 Encouraging Scriptures to text your husband.
A wife’s guide to praying for your husbands workplace.
67 Encouraging things to say to your husband.
Send a lovey dovey text message.
There is so much power in words, especially when they are being sent through cyberspace. Which can often get me into trouble, lol!
The goal here is to offer a quick and sweet sentiment that may say so much more than ‘I love you’. It can say; your efforts matter, you matter, I’m thinking of you, you are important.
I can’t really think of a better way to build up our husbands than letting them know they are on our minds and in our thoughts.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Discover their love language.
I’m pretty sure my love language is food, ha! Whenever my husband feeds me I just want to kiss him, lol! But in all seriousness, mine is acts of service in my present season.
Understanding how I feel when I’m fed, especially on a long hard day, encourages me to understand the path to my husband’s heart.
Getting to know our spouses, by listening, will help us discover the best way we can love them. In turn, we can build them up by loving them in the ways they feel it most.
Marriage, work, mom life or the million other directions we are being pulled in can feel isolating and sometimes too much of a burden to bear. Marriage can feel like a chore, rather than the blessing I believe God intended it to be.
I have been there and I am not naïve to the challenges that may lie ahead, in my own marriage! Which leads me to my last way we can build each other up; Through Prayer.
When I once was feeling overwhelmed and spread thin, I asked God to show me where I could create white space. Later that day, I read a devotion called ‘white space’ that had given me clear direction on how to cut things out of my life to create more space for what matters. What matters to us, matters to God & there is so much power in prayer.
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” John 10:9
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I’m a writer, seller of graphic t-shirts and mom to three. I am married to an amazing man (who also happens to screen print my tees!). I love learning new things and I have discovered this through homeschooling! On my blog I share how I have recently learned the importance of filling up our days with white space & grace. I pray you are encouraged by what I have to share and thank you so much for reading!
When you said you have a tendency to see his vulnerability as weakness… CONVICTED! I so need to work on this. Thank you for this!
wow, your article is really full of motivation and also full great ideas. every time I read them, I feel like working very hard to write a good article like this. very helpful article, keep it up admin and thanks for sharing such a cool and nice posts.
I love this. I send my husband a lovey dovey text message after reading. It’s a great remainder.
Love all your points here. Especially allowing him to be heard (everyone needs a voice) and sending flirty text messages. The Lord showed me a few years ago my need for control came from my childhood. Because I didn’t have any control over who my stepfather or step siblings were, where we moved, who I called “Daddy,” etc. And He also showed me how I never really have control. Instead, the more I fight for control, the less I have. Thanks for these reminders today!