What to do besides prayer when saving your Marriage
If you know anything about me yet, I hope it’s that you know I am about warring and getting fierce for fighting for marriages. There is a devil out there trying to destroy marriages within the Church. That irks me to the core.
I don’t know about you but having a devil lurking around to tear down Christian marriages upsets me.
It makes me mad at the devil and heart broken for the marriages that are in strife.
A marriage leading to discord, separation, or divorce is not just about the spouses. It hurts the entirety of families. The mother and father that raised their children to become a good spouse. It hurts the children that are involved (if any). It brings down the confidence and well being of each one involved. And unfortunately can even test the faith of those who are hurt by the situation.
(This post is for the wife that is desiring to save a marriage, to build up her marriage, and to build a deeper connection to the purpose of a godly marriage. I do not support abuse in any mannerism in marriage. If abuse is in a marriage, I urge you to seek godly counsel and safety with those you trust. Although, I do believe in redemption of all those who seek forgiveness and for a marriage to be saved if it can be; God needs to be the certain of wisdom in your marriage and being safe should always be a priority for any person(s) who is in harm’s way.)
Just because we are Christians, we are not excluded from being attacked by the enemy. If anything, as believers in Christ and believers in the godly ordination of marriage we probably have a huge bright target sign all over us according to the devil.
Imagine, why take out one Christian when he can try to discord two Christians in their faith, in their calling, in the purpose of salvation, and in building more generations of more believers?!
Of course the devil wants to make sure I am not serving my husband wholeheartedly or raising children to love the Lord. He definitely does not want to see a marriage that serves in ministry. He much rather see us disconnected so we are of less certainty of God’s will for our family.
This is why it is so crucial to understand the scripture about becoming ONE.
‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. Mark 10:7-8 ESV
Two becoming one is stronger.
Unity reminds us to keep each other uplifted and to speak life to the gifts we each have. Unity also builds a household that will continue for generations.
For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Ecclesiastes 4:10 ESV
Right along with you, I want to snatch away the area the devil is trying to use against us in marriage.
Related Posts:
10 Books that will encourage you to save your Marriage
Seven things to never say when you are fighting with your spouse
Gifts to give your husband when your marriage is struggling
Whether it’s using:
Finances,
The past of rejection,
Insecurities within self,
Fear of failure,
Guilt of generational bondages,
The struggle with temptation,
Grief,
Depression/Anxiety,
And whatever more that may be affecting you.
Every single thing mentioned above is real life stuff. We all deal with one thing or another in one way or another. Each of our struggles is of our own in a different form but nonetheless, struggles are struggles and it is what the enemy uses against us to take from being slightly hurt to then feeling hopeless.
Whatever it is, we can not afford to be ashamed any longer to have struggles in our marriage. We must overcome and expose the devil from using it against us and our marriages.
Expose the devil. Cripple the devil from interrupting your marriage. Do not give him room in your marriage.
One of the best things I have learned about fighting against the devil is: Expose him.
You see, the devil works through deception and when deception can no longer cover your eyes or seal your ears, you are able to work with wisdom and knowledge. You are more likely able to map out your own battle to save your marriage.
If you are in a season where God is positioning you to lead your marriage into sanctification whether because it is experiencing strife or desiring to prevent strife in your marriage, I highly recommend you to start these seven things within your battle plan to create a healthy marriage.
Anointing oil
Anointing oil was used to sanctify and purify tabernacles, sanctuaries, priesthood, and even used to heal.
The home where your marriage resides ought to be your sanctuary. Your home should be where you keep all things in the home purified and in alignment with the Lord’s plan for your marriage.
Anoint your home regularly. Make a note to spend a hour a week, every other week, or monthly to go room to room to anoint the doors, the windows, and the furniture within your home with purpose to sanctify.
Scriptures
Using the word of God will activate the holy spirit and your attitude to fight for what God has blessed you with. When praying for your marriage read the bible or read from written scriptures you have saved for your marriage.
The Root Words
This one can be a tough one to do. It will require you to push through your heart ache of the natural. This is where the battle gets real because it requires you to lay down all the natural emotions and seek the Lord to show you the roots of the strife in the home and marriage. You will need to be willing to hear His voice and not the hurt of your emotions.
Root words means to get to the depth of situations so the devil can no longer attack you with the same thing with a different face.
Cleanse the Home
Best way for me to explain this is to read my post on “Spiritually Cleaning your Home”.
Go room to room praying for the things that will uplift your marriage in every room.
In the living room, pray it becomes a place of joy and unity. A place where visitors will enter the home and see an example of a Christ like marriage.
For the laundry room pray for a place where you find joy serving your husband. Where every piece of clothing article is an opportunity to pray for your husband.
Cleanse the Marriage Bed
Though I wrote a little bit about cleansing your bedroom in the post mentioned above, cleansing the marriage bed when fighting for your marriage allows you to be specific for the reason of your marriage. Anoint the bed and pillows and seek God to deepen the physical, spiritually, and emotional intimacy of your marriage.
The marriage bed is where you battle out the spirit of temptations in your marriage. Whether it may be temptation to pornography, adultery, drug use, alcoholism, or generational bondages that can affect your marriage. ( ‘A man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife as one.’ This goes for us too ladies.) Pray you be joined as one with your husband.
A Forgiving Heart
None of this can become effective if you are not submitting to forgiveness towards your spouse, to your marriage, and to any hurt you may have. Unforgiveness will harbor your marriage from growing. Come to a new beginning for your marriage with a clean heart. A clean heart will have you fight for righteousness not out of revenge for them to change as you think they should.
Forgiveness will also allow you to see even the tiniest things that God is doing through the midst of the mess and to be honest that is the point of freedom you want. Where the smallest change is victory.
Affirmation to your Spouse
Be willing to seal all of this with affirmation to your husband daily. Whether he knows you are on a warpath for your marriage or not. Choose one compliment each day to say to him. Words of affirmation of your love will become an act of speaking life into your heart and into the marriage. This is one of the greatest natural ways for your spouse to see your sincerity for your marriage but also a spiritual connection to building you up as a godly wife.
Prayer for the Wife:
Father God,
I pray for every wife that reads this post, takes their position in the home as a women of faith and as a God fearing wife. That is she is confident in her position as walks through her home. That she speaks life to her marriage daily. That she takes the sword of the spirit (her bible) and she proclaims victory of her marriage, of herself, of her husband, of her children, and of her children’s children. That fear will NOT reside in the marriage nor in the home. May she uphold You Lord, as the center of the home daily. May she fight for righteousness in the sight of You Lord and not of her flesh. Bring her into submission to You first Lord then unto her husband. May all things she does represent the sanctification of marriage. Encourage every woman right now in the name of Jesus that is fighting for their marriage. Show them Lord, that You are the Lord of righteousness and of purification. You Lord are the ministry of reconciliation and we proclaim it for Christian Marriages that are striving today.
Thank you in advance Lord for restoration of self and of families. In Jesus name, Amen!
(This post may include affiliate links which means I may receive a small commission for products I recommend.)
A forgiving heart goes a long way….
Thanks for this post.
Another important point should be talking the right things in consent with the will of God for the marriage.
Bible said that we receive whatever we say: and it also asked us to always guard our hearts, because out of it are the issues of life.
We should study the word and know the will of God for our marriage and always speak it to our marriages.
Hi, thanks for sharing this very relevant and inspirational message in saving someone’s marriage. Many have struggled to maintain their marriage in the brick of breaking though do you think it is recommended to visit a marriage consultant to fix relationship and trust? Thanks!
Yes, absolutely! Counseling is definitely something we should be doing for our marriages! Thank you for mentioning it. Marriage counseling is something I believe in for marriages in strife and not in strife. The reason of counseling may be different during the season of the marriage but it is always good to have godly experienced mentors you can trust and know that they are praying for you and your spouse.