When my husband walks into our home from work, my desire is for him is to have a home that is tidy, refreshing, carefree, and with an aroma of dinner that reminds him dinner is just a few minutes away.
I vision the sun beaming through, children quietly playing, and the atmosphere with a sense of calmness and peace.
Is this realistic? Not really.
Even though I have experienced days where I felt relatively close to the vision; the reality of it is that I can not achieve that every day. Neither can my children but I do choose to strive for it.
I have a vision as a wife and mother and I proudly aim for it. I believe this is what has helped me create the steps that I now take to complete my vision. Yet, I know reality as a stay at home mom is not all about the dreams. It’s about strategically caring for your family and home with a lot of sacrifice.
As a stay at home mom it is so easy stay in sweat pants with my hair in a bun all day. I wake up each day with the intention to get dressed and to do my hair but as I get the older ones off to school and the younger ones set for breakfast, then work on the blog, I just simply became relax in staying in the sweats and hair bun.
Before I know it, I have worked on the blog for three hours, changed the kids, put laundry to wash, and cleaned the morning dishes. By then the next segment of our day begins. Which is to prepare lunch and get kids ready for their nap. This usually takes 30 minutes to do.
A two hour nap goes by quickly as I work on the blog. I am usually catching up on emails, social media, and writing as they sleep. Feels like just minutes later when the kids are up from their nap. The 15 minutes I was hoping to have to freshen up is now completely lost.
As my younger children are having snack time, the older kids are coming through the door. Once they walk in from school this means my husband will be home shortly.
This is when the 15 minute pick up takes place in the home.
The 15 Minute Pick Up is simple.
The 15 minute pick up routine has been created in the home for the same time everyday. This is probably the only time where all my children works together as a team for me. They know by experience this is the time that mom needs their cooperation the most.
For 15 minutes my older children clean up in the home. This include picking up toys. Cleaning off counter tops, sweeping if needed, and straightening up any other room that needs any little attention.
As they are doing this I am quickly using the 15 minutes to freshen up.
I get out of the sweat pants, pull the old raggedy scrunchy out of my hair, and add a little makeup if I feel up to it. I wash up and put on a outfit that is generally comfortable to make dinner in but still flirty enough for my husband.
My intentions for this is not just to feel revived from the mommy status that I just did for the past 8 hours but also for my husband to see that I don’t think of my position as a stay at home mom as a position that is not worth getting dressed for. I want him to walk in to see a wife that is confident and well put together in the position that she upholds.
Gaining my confidence back was on me, not him.
By doing this I have helped my own confidence and have brought value to myself as a Stay at Home Mom. Before I would stay in the sweats, the bun in the hair, and I would sulk by the end of the day that I didn’t even have time to get dress like most women do every morning. I felt useless and insecure as a wife and mother.
My husband did all that he could do by encouraging and complimenting me but it had to be me that made the change. I had to find confidence in who I am as a wife and as a stay at home mom.
I thought of the simple things that made me feel better about myself. One was getting dressed and doing my hair.
Before becoming a stay at home mom, I was in a ten year career that I got up every morning to put on heels and makeup. That was something that made me feel confident in my position. Although dressing up in heels is not exactly appropriate for doing dishes and laundry; dressing comfortably into something that I feel confident in is.
Thank about what makes you feel confident and stand out? What does your husband like that you do with your hair and you can do in 5 minutes? What can you do in 15 minutes before he walks into the door of your home that will give him a smile on his face because you are smiling? Is it taking 15 minutes to read a book or taking a brisk walk to feel rejuvenated?