Marriage

5 Ways to Make Him Feel Significant in Marriage.

 

It is week two for the #SummerSizzleBlogHop series. Where 9 bloggers are sharing their best work with each other for 9 weeks. Last week I introduced Dawn Klinge from Above the Waves with her post; The Importance of Parenting with Grace.

 

This week I would like to introduce my dear friend and uplifting blogger, Marva Smith from Sun Sparkle Shine. She knows how much marriage in Gods eyes means to me and passed over her top post on Marriage to share with you all.

 

Enjoy and embrace the wisdom she shares here!

 

 

By: Marva Smith

 

You don’t have to wait till Valentines to let your husband know how much he means to you.

 

And I don’t mean just showing him with words, either. Why, our actions should speak the loudest.

 

Last year, I wrote a post for the Imperfect Wives series on Busy Being Blessed. That post, 5 Ways to Make Him Significant Again, turned out to be the most popular post on my blog – ever. And until now, it was the only post I’ve ever written specifically for marriage.

 

It’s not that I don’t like writing about marriage, but I guess you could say, I really don’t feel qualified to do so. My husband and I have been married nearly 14 years and we’ve learned a thing or two in that period of time. But the biggest lesson we’ve learned is that any success we’ve achieved is thanks to the goodness of God, not any win we can claim for ourselves.

 

But back to the significant thing.

 

Based on that post popularity, it turns out that I’m not the only one who needs to pay close attention to making my husband feel significant. So, in case you’re in the same boat, I offer 5 more tips for making him feel special and loved

 

1. Put God First.

 

No, I didn’t make a mistake with the heading. I know that this post is about supporting our husbands, but stick with me.

 

Truly the best way I can encourage my husband is by being the best wife I can be. And that starts with my relationship with God.

 

This concept is similar to one I read a few years ago in the book of The Power of the Praying Wife. The absolute first chapter of the book started with not praying for your husband, but praying for his wife. And that stuck with me.

 

If we are to be our husbands biggest cheerleader, we must work on ourselves – not in a selfish way, but in terms of allowing God to shape us and to mold us into the wives our husbands needs.

 

2. Support His Dreams.

 

You know the old saying, ‘When you get married you two become one.’ All too often the reality looks more like each of us vying for our own space in the spotlight. But how different would it be if you decided in your heart to support his dreams.

 

How many times have you worried about a dream your husband had that never even come to fruition? Frankly speaking, if it’s a really crazy idea, God might have other plans in mind. And that daydream will never amount to anything. But if his bright idea is really from God, then you’d be foolhardy to try to squelch it.

 

Rather than squashing his dreams, focus on being his biggest fan. And leave the rest to God.

 

3. Talk Behind His Back.

 

In a good way, of course. Compliment him. Tell your girlfriends about how he read bedtime stories to the kids so you could have some downtime. Brag about his mad cooking skills to his friends (and mean it). No snickering. Think about what he’s good at and talk it up with your friends.

 

The perk here of course, is that if you brag about him to the right person it can get back to him and that would be a double-perk.

 

But beyond that, it puts him in a good light in your eyes. And that’s like falling in love all over again.

 

4. Meet him half way, and then some.

 

You’ve heard it said that marriage is a two-way street and that is so true. There’s a lot of give and take and the best thing you can do is forget about keeping score. Do your part to meet him halfway. In fact, I’d go so far as to say put him first above everyone else including yourself. Romans 12:10

 

This might be unheard of in our modern culture but putting your husband first and meeting his needs reaps rewards beyond what we can see today.

 

5. Water the seeds and starve the weeds.

 

So, make a big fuss about the things he’s doing well and tell him often how grateful you are. As for the things that you don’t like, well, sometimes it’s better to learn to just let those go.

 

I’m definitely still working on this one!

 

So, there you have it folks, five more tips to make him significant again – in your eyes and his.

 

What about you?

 

What other tips would you offer? How do you make your husband feel significant? Believe me, I’m taking notes.

 

By the way, in my last marriage post, I also shared a free download with 15 extra tips to help you speak your husband’s love language. You can get yours here.

 

 

 

Marva is an island-living, sun-loving Christian wife, mother, and wearer of many hats. Inspired by John 10:10 she encourages women to slow down and enjoy life to the full, brilliantly. You can find all the latest sparkle on her blog Sun Sparkle Shine, as well as, Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Get a free copy of her eBook You were made to Sparkle when you sign up for her Sparklelights newsletter here.

 

 

 

 

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13 Comments

  • Reply
    Denise Sultenfuss
    June 15, 2017 at 3:50 am

    I adored the “water the seeds and starve the weeds” technique. We farm so I know how weeds strangle the blossom or inhibit growth, which can be applied to marriage.That speaks to my heart.

    • Reply
      Marva | SunSparkleShine
      June 17, 2017 at 8:05 pm

      So true, Denise. Those sneaky little weeds can get right in there and try to choke out all that’s good about our marriages. And before we know it, we’re wondering how we got there.
      I’m so glad this spoke to you in a special way. Let’s together fight the enemy’s schemes with God’s truth.
      Marva | SunSparkleShine recently posted…Conquering Fear and Winning the Battle in Your MindMy Profile

  • Reply
    Marva | SunSparkleShine
    June 14, 2017 at 3:53 pm

    Carmen, I’m so excited to visit you here and share this message with your readers. After nearly 14 years of marriage, I see how easy it is to take our spouses for granted but the truth is, we don’t have to. I pray that these words are just what someone else needs to put the significance back in marriage. All to God’s glory!
    Blessings and hugs!
    Marva | SunSparkleShine recently posted…Conquering Fear and Winning the Battle in Your MindMy Profile

  • Reply
    Edie
    June 14, 2017 at 10:46 am

    Such great reminders! And I believe you are full of wisdom about marriage! Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply
    Liz
    June 14, 2017 at 10:26 am

    “Water the seeds and starve the weeds.” That’s great advice, but SO counterintuitive. At least for me. It is something I really have to train my brain and mouth to do! These are great tips!

    • Reply
      Marva | SunSparkleShine
      June 17, 2017 at 8:07 pm

      I have a particularly hard time with this one too, Liz. I often tend to pick on the things he’s doing wrong and want to point them out, as if to fix them once and for all. Thankfully God has a way of humbling me and reminding me I’m not as perfect as I think so that I can remember to extend grace. Oh, the lessons we learn!
      Marva | SunSparkleShine recently posted…Conquering Fear and Winning the Battle in Your MindMy Profile

  • Reply
    Erin Port
    June 14, 2017 at 10:07 am

    Love this – a well watered marriage is so important 🙂

  • Reply
    Abbey
    June 14, 2017 at 9:48 am

    I love this! We have a 9 week old, so we’re trying to figure out how to still put time and energy into our marriage while keeping her alive (haha). I love these tips because it’s going to really grow my heart more towards my husband! ❤
    Abbey recently posted…Postpartum Essentials For The First Two WeeksMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lisa Yvonne
    June 14, 2017 at 9:44 am

    YES!!! As wives, I think we often overlook the influence we can have in the lives of our men. I especially like the starving the weeds part…because I need that reminder over and over again, it seems. Thank you so much for sharing this; it’s critical that we focus on our marriages.

    • Reply
      Marva | SunSparkleShine
      June 17, 2017 at 8:20 pm

      I’m with you, Lisa. Gotta work on those weeds — I mean, those seeds. 🙂 I’m so thankful that where we fall down, the Holy Spirit takes over and picks up the pieces. God wants our marriages to shine even more than we do and He will help us when we put Him first.
      Marva | SunSparkleShine recently posted…Conquering Fear and Winning the Battle in Your MindMy Profile

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