How you will teach your daughter about modesty is based off of every other way you teach her about anything. Your parenting ways are your (and your spouse) own ways. Only thing I can tell about teaching children is, be consistent. If you say something, be an example of it and stick to the guidelines you created. That is one thing I really had to train myself in as a mother. I had the tendency to forget the rules I had created at the drop of the dime. If I didn’t like something I would hurriedly create guidelines to A and B. But it was out of emotion. It was the situation I was upset about and wanted to change it right away; instead of sitting with them and explaining the importance of why they could no longer do A and B. When I began changing my ways in that specific area and communicating more to my children it also trained me to stick to what I said and to become consistent to what I am teaching them.
Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight,
not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have for you,
not for shameful gain, but eagerly;
1 Peter 5:2
As my daughter enters high school I am learning so much of becoming more aware of all the pressures that there are out there in the world and in the schools that our children attend. As we attend school functions and events that our daughter is involved in, we see the conception of impropriety on young girls and boys rising. As we can all agree, this is not only happening at schools or school functions, this is happening everywhere in todays culture. But I mention school because as we see it in front of our oldest daughter, it reveals to us the importance of communicating with our children about the matter. As I watch my daughter get off the car to enter the gates of the school yard and I see the articles of clothing that is being worn by majority of the young crowds, my heart breaks as I come to the realization that girls that are being raised in homes to be modest may battle with pressures and comparisons from girls that are not. As I replayed some recent conversations in my head with my daughter and even with some of her friends, I realize that the tone of comparison has been in some recent topics. As graduation dance approached they would speak about the strapless short dresses other girls in their classes would speak about purchasing. This was an opportunity to speak about what modesty is and why it should be important to her. This was not something I could any longer just explain as a rule but as she is quickly growing it is now time to teach her why.
One of my favorite definitions for modesty is “freedom from vanity”. I like it because I desire for my children to know modesty is a form of freedom. Its freedom from trying to be noticed or feel as though a certain style of apparel is what describes you as a person. I do not want the teaching of modesty in our home become a habitual outcome for them. I desire my children to know that modesty is a form of freedom of knowing who you are and part of knowing who you are is being confident that God created you. When we have confidence of who we are in Christ, we believe in the truth of knowing how and why our bodies were formed and that our bodies is as a temple. And from that you form humbleness, develop wisdom, and sustain your confidence in your outer appearance.
In the fear of the Lord, one has strong confidence
and his children will have a refuge.
Here are 3 verses I pray over my daughters for modesty to become a desire within them as they develop in their relationship with the Lord:
For all that is in the world – the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and
pride of possessions – is not from the Father but from the World.
1 John 2:16
For You formed my inward part; You knitted me together in my mothers womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully, wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct,
in love, in faith, in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12
Please share scriptures you speak to your daughters about modesty.